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The Truth In Humor!
Blonde Story of All Times
Fun Photos and Cartoons
Test Your Wits
All I Need To Know
Through The Eyes Of A Man
Through The Eyes Of A Woman
Where To Next?
Through The Eyes Of A Woman


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I'm glad I'm a woman - Yes I am, yes I am.
I don't live on Budweiser, Beer Nuts and Spam.
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections;
I won't drive to Hell before asking directions

I act nice at parties; don't act like a clown;
And I know how to put the darn toilet seat down.

I won't grab your boobies; I won't pinch your butt.
My belt is not hidden beneath my beer gut.
I don't go around re-adjusting my crotch;
Or make sure my headboard bears each hard-earned notch.
I don't belch in public; don't scratch my behind.
I'm a woman, you see - I'm just not that kind!

I'm glad I'm a woman; So glad I could sing
And thrilled I'm not covered with shag carpeting.
Hair won't grow from my ears, or cover my back.
And when I bend over, you can't see my crack.

I'm a woman, alas - and I'm proud, don't you see?
And I can take care of "poor little me".

I don't live for golf, or shoot basketball.
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal.
I don't need male bonding; don't cruise of a chick -
I'll never join the "Hair Club", or think I'm "so slick"!

I'm a woman, by chance, and thankful I am!
I'm so glad I'm a woman, not a man, yes I am!

It is not my intention to gain credit for the work and talent of others. So, if you see something that was not intended to be freely used and distributed, please let me know and I'll will remove it.